Celebrating 50 Years of WTF-hood

Malaysia. Truly Asia. A country full of splendour. Full of various ethnicity. Full of fat-laden food. Full of mat-rempits (do mind those mind mat-rempits, the nation’s future is on their hand – sigh!). Loads of crap – no thanks to the foolish achievements that they are proud of. Indeed, I am a Malaysian. I am proud to be a Malaysian but not proud enough for the lesser known achievements.If you are wondering of what is this country is famous of, one word is suffice for an answer – copycat. Undoubtedly this country is known for its piracy – not at sea but on intellectual properties and copyrights. The country kick start the 50th year of its manhood nationhood with the completion of ‘The Eye on Malaysia’. Okay now, isn’t that sounds very familiar? Is it that gigantic eye sculpture place in the middle of KL? Oh silly me, there is no such thing anyway. Then it must the eye of the former prime minister, the great Tun Dr Mahathir. That must be it. Oh silly me again. He’s not dead yet, just having recurring heart attack each time he sees Rafidah Aziz offer big discounts on the APs current premier, Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, on the paper announcing another cancellation of Dr M’s ambitious future megaprojects. Just to let you know, I respect both prime ministers for their ability to govern this pathetic country that is running low of its natural resources. Both of them are not without flaw, of course but their flaw are just unbearable for the people. This makes the people bicker. Now back to the real topic, what is this ‘Eye on Malaysia’ anyway? Its official opening was celebrated with a big bang. They even canceled big New Year parties for this event. So what is it already? A giant ferris wheel. Now that does ring the bell, doesn’t it? Tokyo is famous of those huge ferris wheel but the copy was not made there since Japan itself have a bunch of them. Could ‘Eye on Malaysia’ be any similar to ‘London Eye’? The name is the same, to begin with. Then both are ferris wheel. The obvious difference is the size though. Malaysia’s version is huge but the one in London is colossal. Super huge. Well they did ‘Eye on Malaysia’ on a rush anyway. Just in time for the new year.Visit Malaysia Year 2007 is a great plan to promote Malaysia, no doubt about that. In fact, I like that idea since it does coincide with the country’s 50th year of independence. But there are always those certain people trying to find rhetoric ways to celebrate it. They always come up with organizing events under the patron theme of Visit Malaysia Year or the 50th Year of Nationhood. However there is one that really caught my attention. Lets say you were given a gang of useless, bullshitting of mat-rempits remorseful former mat-rempits (yeah, right!) and you are asked to make good use of them. There is no way you are going to put them back to school, they just might pick up back their old habit. Neither do you let them educate or motivate the youth, lets say to tell them their life-changing story. A no-no because they might as well teach more people how to ride the motorbike while stand on the bike and take a wee. I know, lets send them to North Pole. Parachuting their way there some more. Oh jolly! The UMNO party-backed event is going to extort waste more money from the Federal bank account and throw those adopted mat-rempits (yes, there are people who actually adopt mat-rempits) to the North Pole. These people are inseparable from the beloved motorbikes and probably they might bring those in their attempt. Hooray to the mat-rempit because they jump their way to the North Pole. So much for an achievement, especially when they make an excuse of commemorating the 50th year of independence out of it. The next thing you know is that these mat-rempits are given the title ‘Datuk’ for their “astounding” success. Go ahead and give them those, there’s even an application form for it if you want to.Unrelated but note-worthy is when Alain Robert dubbed Spiderman. Now a brief profile on this lesser known superhero, if he happens to turn out to be one. When he is not frying French fries from native France (pun intended), he goes around scaling those tall towers and risking arrest for doing it. Sorry to say, this guy can’t spin webs to his safety nor having those very sticky hands like the real Spidey do (but Spiderman of course, is not real). All he ever got is his very strong hands to get a very strong grip. It only takes a slip to fall down to his grave. Fear not, he had not fail any attempts yet. Exception for those halted attempts by the local authorities, he managed to climb his way up on all the tall building that he had tried on. So what does this have to do with celebrating the nation’s golden jubilee? Answer? None. Since it does happen by coincidence with the celebration, why not put it that way? Besides that is good enough to put Malaysia on the headlines (for the wrong reasons apparently). Spidey here had a thought on how to celebrate the 50th year of Malaysia’s independence and he got an idea – by attempting to climb up the tallest twin tower in the world, the Petronas Twin Towers. He is smart enough to bring along the Malaysia flag with him to appease the crowd and lift that “Merdeka” spirit (Merdeka means indepencence). Nice try but a bummer. Again the police stopped him halfway. Oh did I said again? Yes, again – this was his second attempt on the towers already. He did that before but failed by the police. The same fate happened again. I guess he was not happy for not able to conquer the tallest twin towers. Could he be back for Spiderman 3? Pun intended, again.Speaking of which, Spiderman 3 will be showing on Malaysia cinemas on 3rd May 2007 before premiering worldwide on 4th of May. This movie will worth the anticipation. Trust me on that.

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