300 (movie review)

Here is the Malay title for this movie – 300 pahlawan berani mati (300 fearless warriors). Which reminds me of Death Note being literally Nota Kematian. I wonder how Dreamgirls is translated? Perempuan Mimpi?

Absolutely fabulous. I did expect that 300 will be a good movie but I did not expect it to be great. In fact, I gave a wrong impression of it in the beginning because I was comparing it to Sin City. The cinematography style is indeed similar, yet what sets it apart is the stunning graphics along with intense battle scenes. This is no typical movie based on ancient Greek mythology. The surreal battle scene along with crazy intense moments in the battle field and the added factor was it’s a fight against 300 excellent Spartan warriors against one million Persian armies. For me, the instant magnate for me was the seamless graphic details. I did not expect a good storyline or even good scripts. Just for sheer thrill of watching people slashing and hacking each other. It was surprising for me to get so intense to watch 300. It was no thriller, just high intensity brewing up as the story progresses.

This movie is not suitable for kids. Sorry!

Ill Divo never looked the same again

The story is about the final battle of King Leonidas from the third person point of view. The story began about how a Spartan warrior was brought up, in this case it’s King Leonidas. Spartans are portrayed as fearless warrior who has the deadly skill and brute strength. If you read the history books, Sparta is a nation of warrior. Soldiers are trained from this military-like nation. Something similar to North Korea, the difference was there’s no nuclear weapon. Just more beefy men. Did I say beefy? Yes, 300 is a gallery of hot, sexy and masculine bodies. The amount of nudity is too excessive. I’m referring to the guys here. These people really appreciate their bodies and not too ashamed to display it to everyone. I wonder how the producers managed to gather the casts for this movie. I bet there’s a good number of them who are models and body builders. Rest assured, no such same-sex sentiments in this movie.

“Face it, I’m sexier than you.”

He’s hot, literally.

One day, came the Persian messenger serving under Xerxes as he delivers news about Xerxes’ attempt to takeover Greece (starting from Sparta as Sparta is a part of Greece; read your history book). King Leonidas was defiant. He waged war against the mighty Persian army. However his intention was undermined by the Oracle who forbids any war during the time of a-certain-festival-I-don’t-know-the-name-is. He was uncertain and undecided. But after an advice from his wife (and after making out with her), he was firm on his decision to go on to war. In spite of this, he did not want to cause havoc amongst the Spartans. So he selected only 300 excellent soldiers with him to face off with the Persians while the rest of the army stayed behind to defend Sparta, just in case. They went over north to the Hell’s Gate (if I’m not mistaken for the name because it sounded like Darker Than Black) which is a narrow path bounded by the cliffs along the shores. Since that was the only route to access Sparta and beyond, it’s best for them to defend over there. Storms hit the sea near Sparta and already a huge number of Persian troops were killed at that moment. However this stores another surprise for the Spartans. The next morning by the bay, they witnessed a horrific sight – a huge population of Persian soldiers setting camps, probably in tens of thousands. Horrific? I beg to differ. The Spartans enjoyed this as they say that the battle will be like no other. What the….

“I drop my keys down there. You go get it for me.”

Persia’s very own Madonna

They built a wall nearby the Hell’s Gate when a scout from the Persians came over. They were surprised by the sight of the wall. It was a corpse wall, built from the dead Persian soldiers whom the Spartans killed. As if this did not do enough damage, one of the Spartans cut off one of his hands. That’s got to hurt but the scout doesn’t seem to be in pain. Talk about bad acting. Well I did not expect for one from this movie anyway. This provokes Xerxes even more and so the battle begins.

No pushing near the cliff. It’s dangerous.

“The weather today is predicted to be bad with some showers.”

At the end, many Persians were killed. Only a few died from the Spartan side. Eh this is not logical! How come 300 men survive against endless waves of attack that come in thousands? Even the personal soldiers of Xerxes, the elite force known as The Immortals were badly defeated. It seems the Spartans are godlike. It was mentioned that Spartans are descendants from Hercules himself. Gosh! But their so-call godlike streak are about to be wavered. Come on! Be logical already. 300 win against one million? These people are damn scary if this is true. In the end, as the Spartans were drained out of their energy and the Persians managed to sneak their way behind them for an ambush, the Spartans are at a gridlock. The foreseeing dead end for them because they are so dead. Ending you say? Of course the 300 perished in this final wave of attack from the Persians. The only ending you can ever think of, logically. Don’t worry, their deaths are not wasted. The Greeks fought back alongside the rest of Spartan soldiers. The Persians are in for a surprise as their remaining 10,000 soldiers have to face a stronger 40,000 men from the Greek forces. King Leonidas will have the last laugh.

“Haha! I got piercings near my nipple, you morons!”

It was mentioned from the movie that the strong warriors of Sparta are never to show their emotions as such portrayals display a weakness for them. They must be strong and hard, as said. Hard? Which part is hard? The lower body is it? Spartans are so gay!

My ratings: 5 out of 5

5 Responses to “300 (movie review)”

  1. 1 mike
    30 March 2008 at 2:14 am

    who ever wrote this….

    is retarded.
    Thank you.

    and its hot gate.

  2. 2 Artie
    31 July 2008 at 3:00 pm

    well, it was pretty good, but you seem to talk down to us as readers, I wasnn’t look’n for porn today but we all do some days, with those things said, umbs down, additionally that festival you couldn’t recall is called carnea by the way, held in honor of Apollo Carneus.

  3. 3 henry
    1 October 2009 at 1:37 am

    danmmm this shit is beastyy

  4. 17 March 2015 at 11:07 am

    Net Turtle permits you to download anything through the Internet,
    even if there is often a limit on your own Black – Berry for file size.
    This means should you be given a hyperlink to download a movie, anybody
    giving you the hyperlink technically just broke the law. Christmas may be the only birthday
    I know of the the One Whose Birth we’re celebrating provides gifts instead of receives them.

  5. 21 December 2015 at 10:50 am

    Hello to every one, because I am in fact keen of reading this web site’s post to be updated daily.

    It carries nice information.

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Welcome to Bokutachi no Blog. That's "Our Blog" in Japanese. Our Anime Blog, to be exact. And if you landed to this page by accident, probably in search for ecchi stuff, then you should regret to have hit this page. Don't worry, this blog is children-safe and no misdemeanor acts here. Sorry, you bald, middle-aged perverts. But thanks for the hit anyway.

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