Free!! Episode 1

I’m back and somehow have magically turned into a josei.  No seriously, I looked at my top favorite anime list and it has wayyyy too much josei for one of the opposite gender.  No, seriously, I passed up Nanana, Mekaku City Actors, and Mushishi to blog Free!!  I know it’s Free! – Eternal Summer.  But that’s bullshit, this anime is K-ON! with abbz and apparently non-existent dicks.  Too much to say for an intro lez move on.

Yep, that pretty much summarizes why I Fujoshis watch this Anime

The Facts

Before we even get into the anime, let’s get a few things straight about swimsuits alright.  I have now swum for almost a year now.  I have worn jammers/speedos, the swimsuits these bastards wear, and they show your crotch if they fit right.  Not blatant, but way more than this.

::Edit:: Yes, that guy is wearing a speedo; I’ve worn those too ::Unedit::

 

If you take the lower thigh lines and and draw them towards the crotch you get a perfectly drawn body.  The swimsuit even has where the knot should be tied for the swimsuit showing from that small x mark on the swimsuit.  Except the crotch is missing… Either these guys have ridiculously squishy malleable penises that flatten perfectly or… Who am I kidding look at those abs!  Just look at the fucking pecks!  Abs are easy as fuck if you swim enough front crawl, but damn those pecks are hard to build without lifting.

Disturbing Imagery Alert!

Wearing skin-tight swimsuits at all times is uncomfortable beyond belief.  I know; I’ve tried.  For female readers, imagine menstruation pains except unrelenting and exponentially increasing with every stride.  For male readers, imagine a really bad wedgie that worsens with each stride.  I’m sure most of you didn’t need to spit out your food to know this, but I tested and confirmed anyways.

DAT WATER THO!

That is some fucking incredibly well done water that is pretty much accurate.  The only people who could top that well done water would probably Disney/Pixar with wave simulation for every stroke to accurately represent the water disposition and the water’s behaviour to try to reobtain equilibrium…. I’ll stop.

tl;dr water looks sexier than the average girl in a Michael Bay movie.

Subjective Facts

The story in first season was fucking terrible.  Let’s be honest; all of us were staring at those abs and pecks to care.  I think we are on track to care even less.  I’m perfectly okay with that since all I use this anime for is getting motivated to swim anyways.  I’m just glad that anime is expanding its viewer base and this is proof of this.  In fact, I like this anime better than K-ON! actually.  Haha, just kidding, but I really do like this anime in its own way.

Maybe I’ll do some character analysis next W A T E R T I M E!!